Meditations in ... PSALM 32:3
I experience ecstatic bliss when the Lord has removed my iniquity ... the more the impurities (being sanctified) have been removed, the more Light floods my soul. When the motives and intentions of my heart have been cleansed, the liquid fire of His love has free flow.
I cannot keep silent. I cannot let my voice print be quieted in the Mobile Court of the righteous Judge of all the earth. I cannot hide or my very bones - within the marrow of my intents, where the sound of my earthly DNA speaks, where the accuser points out the spots and blemishes - will waste me away in hopelessness and depression.
Day and night Your love will not let me go as the place where I am carved in the palm of your hands weighs heavily upon me.
The rivers within me searched for banks to overflow but I felt like a wasteland; a wilderness. My mouth, my very soul felt as though drought had overtaken me. But Your loving kindness would not let me go as You relentlessly pursued me to talk with You; to bare my heart to You; to tell You how I felt; to tell You about my struggles. "Do not hide the depths of Your heart but come - cast Yourself upon My great grace and My infinite mercy.
I will not hide. I will not withdraw. You did not hide Your love from me but You publicly displayed it upon the cross- upon a tree that all may see - all may behold unrivalled love - unrivalled redemption- unrivalled mercy- unrivalled grace- unrivalled humility.
Although all authority is Yours - for without You was not anything made that was made - yet You chose to surrender Yourself so that Love Himself can pour Himself out - publicly - for all creation to behold - ALL CREATION - in all the realms/worlds/multiverses. You could have called 10,000 angels. Meekness personified!
And so I speak and I let my sound resound to the very depths of Your heart, wrapping my longing and desire around Your heart. I will search out its tributaries! I cannot let You go as You do not let me go. For Your grace has allowed me to tell all without reservation and instantly, even before I was able to tell all, by my acknowledging the hidden things of my heart, by my laying all bare before You - “shhhh, you are forgiven”. I willingly plead guilty to what Your love and light had uncovered.
I dwell in Mount Zion where there are no spots nor blemishes. Nothing is hidden here. Where can I hide from Your beautiful eyes? You are I AM. If I try to hide my sin I am not allowing truth to have its perfect way for Your light cannot lie. I am not afraid to be unveiled before the light of Your love. I trust You completely and I yield to You so that You can do only what You alone can do. And so I surrender allowing Your blazing love can have its perfect way in me.
I acknowledge, surrender and yield to great grace.
~ S. Elizabeth Gomes